Affirmations & Why They Should Be a Part of Your Daily Life

Affirmations & Why They Should Be a Part of Your Daily Life

What are affirmations? Is it just talking to yourself every day and making wishes while looking in a mirror? Not quite…

What is an affirmation?

An affirmation is simply a statement or declaration that something is valid and true.

When you pass by the hallway mirror on your way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, you notice out loud, “My hair is a mess!”

When you are loading up the family car with groceries, you might mutter, “I spend a small fortune every week feeding these kids!”

You may not know it, but those are affirmations (though negative ones). An example of a positive affirmation is something like “I deserve to be happy!”

How Do Affirmations Work?

It starts by becoming more mindful of your words, thoughts, and actions. When you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative, stop yourself. Find a way to put a positive spin on it, even when you don’t want to. I always say to ask yourself if what you just thought is something you’d say aloud to a child – would you tell this sweet baby girl that she’s a loser or that she’s too dumb to achieve her dreams?

little girl sitting in shopping cart

I certainly hope not! If you wouldn’t say it to her (or any child), do not say it to yourself.

As you re-train your brain to be positive through your affirmations, it will become natural, and it will influence your life in all areas, including your thoughts.

Developing your own affirmations may feel uncomfortable at first, but as soon as you get used to the idea of speaking out positive truth, it will be a normal part of your daily routine.

When you catch a glimpse of your unruly hair, you’ll naturally exclaim (perhaps with a fun smirk), “I have such beautiful, healthy hair.”

And as you put away groceries, you’ll think “I am so blessed to be able to provide so well for my family!”

Depending on what you hope to accomplish through positive affirmation, tailor the phrases to benefit you individually. Identifying where you have weakness in thought patterns is a great place to start. If you are hard on yourself in a particular area, or if you are struggling with something specific, combat the tendency to be critical of yourself by instead telling yourself what you would like to see, as though it has already happened that way.

If you still struggle to come up with affirmations on your own, look into buying affirmation decks and use those to help get you started.

mountains with inspirational quote

You are amazing!

A big part of using positive affirmations is choosing to believe you are significant and you are valuable. You will be amazed at how this alone will change your life.

If you are reminding yourself all day how valuable you are, your decisions will be made through a different lens, your reactions to negative circumstance will not be made out of fear, and you will develop a deeper sense of security in your emotional and physical well-being.

Think of it as a narrator in your life, reading the script as you live it out. If the script says that you are successful and happy, you act out the narrative believing that it is true, before it happens. You tell yourself what to believe, so that it will happen.

Tips on Finding the Positive

There are a few helpful things to keep in mind as you start on your journey towards a positive, healthy lifestyle full of new words, phrases and initially awkward declarations.

First, be grateful for who you are and what you can accomplish.

Second, don’t ever compare yourself to others.

Finally, don’t judge yourself or others.

As you implement these simple guidelines, you will be successfully affirming yourself with a consistently positive nature in no time. You can begin using your positive affirmations to influence outcomes in all kinds of situations.

You Listen to Yourself More Than You Think!

Usually what comes out of your mouth is a good indicator of what you believe. If you believe you are not good enough, you will voice that in a number of ways, and in turn, you’ll produce less than stellar results. You can use positive affirmation to turn the tables, change your mind about what you believe, and get positive results.

Remember that positive affirmations are a tool to re-train your mind into believing what you are telling it to believe. When you are speaking, pay attention to the words. KNOW that what you are saying is true. Believe that you are who you say you are through your affirmations.

Here are a few examples of positive affirmations to influence your day:

  • I trust myself to make great choices.
  • I am unique and significant.
  • I am totally capable of providing well for my family.
  • I was made to experience life abundantly.
  • I was created to be healthy and whole.
  • I am a source of great comfort, peace and joy for my family.
  • I am creative and resourceful.
  • I attract interesting people and amazing opportunities, because I am interesting and amazing.
  • I am calm and relaxed when I interact with others.
  • I study and comprehend what I read easily.
  • I am surrounded by love.
  • I have the means to experience life as I choose.
  • My body is healthy and functioning as it should.

As you continue to build on this practice, you will achieve far greater success in your life – physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and financially.

You will thrive in your abundantly blessed life, and everyone around you will want to know your secret.

why worry quote

Do you have any experience with positive affirmations?

I’d love to hear about your successes!

How Neopets Led Me to Become a Professional Blogger

How Neopets Led Me to Become a Professional Blogger

Neopets is one of those things that you either A) have never heard of (wtf, is it like a Tamagotchi or something?) or B) wilt with nostalgia over because ohmygoodnessssss the 90s were like totally amazing!

I happen to fall into the “B” category.

Whenever I talk about my journey toward becoming a professional blogger, one thing I mention often is that I’ve been blogging for nearly twenty years.

“But, Amber, how can that be?! You’re far too young to have been doing it for that long!”

Aww, well thank you, dear reader, but it’s true.

I first started blogging with Xanga back in 1998 and even built my first website with Geocities around that same time! Pretty impressive given that I was a 10 year old with AOL as her internet service, eh?

I then signed up for Neopets in June 2000 and found myself wonderfully lost inside this virtual world.

What is Neopets?

Neopets is a virtual world in which you have virtual pets (that fortunately cannot die!) Users within this world can buy items, such as books, food, and clothing, to use to interact with their pets. They can also buy items to equip their pets to do battle or furniture to decorate their Neohomes. Basically think of Neopets like Pokemon on acid.Heh have you swooned over the coolness that is me yet?

While many might think it just a silly game for kids, Neopets taught me many things over the years, such as…

Neopets & HTML Coding

Each of your Neopets has their own homepage that you can customize and design with basic HTML coding. Now keep in mind that when I first started with Neopets, the internet was a fairly new experience for everyone. So for a child of barely thirteen to have the opportunity to learn and implement coding like this was quite literally unheard of! Adults were still working to master it (many didn’t know what it even was!) and here was this game that gave kids the chance to learn in a fun, imaginative environment. I can now read and write HTML having never actually taken a course on it – this comes in pretty handy as someone who runs an online business!

Running a Business

Speaking of running a business, I’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit which certainly comes in handy with Neopets. As I mentioned before, you can buy/sell items on Neopets, which leads to you running your own shop. Not only can you again utilize HTML to design your “storefront” and better market yourself, but you can also visit the “Shop Wizard” to compare prices. I was so serious about my Neopets store that I would often write out a marketing plan (much like an editorial calendar!) and map out what’s best to sell when. Yes, Neopets taught me competitive pricing, a concept I obviously still use today!

Christmas ’round the corner? Better pull my Christmas paintbrushes now so I can sell them at a higher price when the holiday gets near!

School is soon ending? More kids will be playing soon, better stock up now so I have plenty of inventory on hand!

Neopets running a special giveaway for free items? Collect ’em and stick ’em in my safety deposit box, because goodness knows they won’t sell for much any time soon.

I’m sure it seems silly to most, but there are some serious economic lessons to learn through Neopets!

Neopets Economics

When I took Consumer Economics in High School, a lot of what I was taught were things I already had basic knowledge of thanks to Neopets. First, there’s the bank, through which you not only deposit/withdraw your Neopoints, but you can also collect interest. Thankfully the APY (annual percentage yield) with Neopets is much higher than that of the real world, with my current account drawing at 11%.

Yes, I’m a Neopian Millionaire. No, I won’t give you a loan. (*psst* it’s against their ToS anyway!)

Oh and they also have a stock market that I took very seriously from early on.

Even though it’s all pretend, I would sit and read through the “Neodaq’ reports and tune in on the message boards to see if I could pick up any incoming trends (or dips). It was all so fascinating to me! Little did I know I was developing life skills that would one day lead to me running my own business!



How to Be a Leader

Within Neopets, you can join or run your own guild of other Neopets players. I created one called “On Faerie Wings” and this probably goes without saying, but I was the Faerie Queen. I even held quarterly elections for those wishing to serve on my council.

(because again in case you missed it the first few times – I was super cool!)

Through my guild, I would share my own personal tips regarding Neopia and cultivate information from others on what worked vs. what didn’t. We would host live chat forums, set up practice battles, and I even created a separate Geocities site to spotlight members’ Neopets. I took my leadership role very seriously and at one point had one of the most active guilds on the site. When my Grandma died in 2001, it was those guild members that helped me work through it. The game gave me something to focus on through the grief and I credit it with helping me become the leader that I am today.

Along those lines, being the efficiency strategist that I am, one thing that has always stood out to me with Neopets is that because your Neopets can never die, your success is limited simply to the time and energy you’re willing to put in. This virtual world has taught me many things that lend themselves to my now running my own business but if you’re going to take anything away from this piece, it should be that – your success is only limited by the time and energy you’re willing to give toward it.

Now I’m off to play some Meerca Chase…but if my husband asks, I’m totally with a client! 😉

Comment below – were/are you a Neopets player? What was your favorite game?

Dealing with Death: The Loss of Grandma

Dealing with Death: The Loss of Grandma

“She died, didn’t she?” The nod that followed my question shattered a part of me forever. My worst nightmare had come true; Grandma had died while I was away on my eighth grade trip.

March 15th 2001 was the last time I saw Grandma alive. I walked to her house every day after school, but this time my step-father drove me there so I could say goodbye before I left for my class trip to Washington D.C.

I’ll never forget how frail she looked, a shell of the powerful woman who had helped to raise me. I stood at the edge of her bed and fought the staggering urge to cry; crying would make it real and this just couldn’t be real. So I bit down hard on my bottom lip, the taste of mercury filling my mouth, and I kept myself numb to it all.

As I moved closer to her bed, her eyelids fluttered open and she gave me a feeble smile.

“Hi, honey,” she croaked through her chapped and swollen lips.

“Hi, Grandma,” I replied. I could feel my throat begin to swell and burn as I attempted to swallow those unshed tears.

“Leaving for your trip soon?” she asked. I knew she was excited for me to go on this trip as she’d previously made it clear that under no circumstances was I allowed to stay behind and watch her die.

All I could bring myself to do was nod in reply.

“Well…have fun, okay?”

I again gave a soft nod and turned to leave. To this day I cannot say for sure whether or not I even told her “I love you.”

When I returned from Washington D.C. a few days later, I stepped off the bus and with a quick glance, I saw my mom waiting for me beside our little blue Ford Focus. I had to force myself to look up at her.

“She died, didn’t she,” I asked.

My mom’s lips remained in a tight firm line as she made eye contact and nodded.

It’s that nod that still burns in my brain.

Grandma’s funeral went by quickly and yet I remember so much.

Almost as if thirteen year old me is still stuck there, forever looped in time…

I remember looking down at her in the casket, soft and frozen in time, willing her to just breathe. To just please come back to me.

I remember my school friends stopping by with their parents, awkward hugs and hand drawn cards.

I remember sitting in the bathroom with a friend, both of us sobbing into the couches and begging the pain to stop.

I remember the final glance I took before once again turning away from Grandma, this time forever.

The time following her death saw me tumbling into darkness.

First, my step-grandpa died of a heart attack.

Then the dog I’d had since my first birthday had to be put to sleep.

A month later, we adopted a puppy only to watch it slowly die of Parvo over the course of half a week.

And then as the summer faded to fall, my mom announced we’d be moving. We left Chicago and I became “the new girl” in a town that had less people than my grade school.

Every morning my eyes would flutter open only for my brain to immediately beg for the release that sleep provided. I lived each day simply to move on to the next.

With no friends and a mother lost in her own sorrowful oblivion, I let myself fall away from reality.

Then one night, a dream…

In it, I was sitting at the feet of my grandmother as she stroked my hair and soothed my sorrow. For a moment, I relished the comfort.

Then suddenly, I looked up at her.

“You’re dead,” I stated as if it were a fact we’d both just forgotten.

“I know,” she replied, still stroking my hair.

“But…but you can’t be. You’re here!” I cried.

“I am,” she said softly.

“You’re not supposed to be. Please, please come back,” I clung to her, willing the dream to continue on forever.

“It’s time to go, Amber,” she told me with one final caress, “You have to wake up now.”

With that, I felt a white light pull me toward the front door. I reached and screamed and begged…

And woke up.

my grandma

It’s been seventeen years, three months, and twenty-seven days since Grandma died. Surviving in a world without her was (and sometimes still is) almost more than I can bear, but I push on.

I look to my children now and think about how she would have adored them. Unlike most Grandmas, mine was fairly strict, much more a mother than a grandmother. But oh how she would’ve spoiled my babies, especially my little girl, who was given the same middle name as my grandmother – Arlene Margaret Lewner.

I often think about how different my life would have been had she beaten that colon cancer and survived beyond her fifty-three short years. Oh how different the path would have been, but surely the destinations would have remained the same.

Every day I will work harder. Each day I will push a bit more. While I may never be as great as she once was, I will be a Lewner woman. I will make her proud.